


Everything You Need to Know (#1 Conversation)

by ladygray99



Series: A Silk Pillow [221]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Community: numb3rs100, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-15
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-20 11:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygray99/pseuds/ladygray99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian never though he'd have to give this talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Need to Know (#1 Conversation)

**Author's Note:**

> Each drabble is going to be jumping years and even decades.

Ian dropped his face to his hands. “Why are you asking me this?” he moaned.

Jonah Eppes shrugged. “It would be weird asking Dad.”

Ian peered through his fingers. Jonah had his mother’s face and his father’s complexion. It had made him a heartbreaker since age two. “And it’s not weird asking me?”

Jonah shrugged again in the universal language of all teenagers.

“Okay.” Ian gave in. “Do you want to have sex with her?” Jonah shrugged. “Well then you probably shouldn’t.”

“I don’t want her to dump me.”

Ian was of the opinion that the cheap tramp Jonah called a girlfriend should have been kicked to the curb long ago. “If she just wants you for sex then she doesn’t respect you and you shouldn’t be with her to begin with.” The eye roll Ian got was epic. “Fine you want advice? Always use protection.”

“I’m not an idiot.” Ian wondered if he would have been this stubborn at sixteen if his life had been normal.

“You’re sixteen. You’re clinically stupid.”

Jonah crossed his arms and tried to mimic his father’s interrogation face. It never quite worked coming from his mother’s more delicate features.

“I was just asking for a little advice Uncle Ian.”

Ian just knew Jonah wouldn’t leave until he coughed up the information. “I will tell you everything important I know about sex if you promise you’ll never tell anyone we had this conversation. Deal?”

“Sure.”

Ian thought for a second “Always use protection. Always respect yourself, respect your partner and demand that respect in return. Never try to duplicate anything you’ve read about or seen in a movie, especially without stretching first. If you’re going to try something kinky have a safe word, multiple syllables, and there is no such thing as too much lubrication.”


End file.
